Today was my first day of chemo.  After several pre-rounds of steroids, anti-nausea meds and a few does of Benadryl, my rash finally went away.  I arrived at the hospital at 9:00am and saw the P.A. and had my port accessed - which hurt like Hell by the way since it has not fully healed.  Then I went into the infusion center, scheduled for 4 different types of medicines, which lasted a period of 7 hours.

I had many different medicines at different intervals.  Then in between then different chemos and immunotherapies, I continued to receive bags of anti-nausea meds and doses of steroids to keep reactions down.  On top of that, I had a constant saline drip, which caused me to have to pee four times during the day - dragging an IV pole with me every time.  I spent the day in a small recliner chair watching TV, crocheting and snacking.  Today the only side effect I'm having is some fatigue and some bad dry mouth.  But I know that in the next few days the effects will really start to hit me.  I feel kind of paranoid about it.

Dr S. has decided that since he hasn't treated many patients like me and with my backgrounds, he wants to see me once a week until after my second treatment - really just to ensure I'm not having severe adverse reactions or to make sure my body in handling things like it is supposed to.  I told them that the drive didn't bother me and I had Mondays off, but I wasn't happy with the $70 copay I would have to pay for each visit he wanted from me.  His P.A. said she would give me some information on organizations that offer financial assistance, but it still feels like a big burden on my shoulders.

So I go back to the hospital tomorrow to receive my immune booster shot and to follow up with Dr L. after my surgery.  I want to thank my cousin Brad and his wife Andrea for opening their home to us and allowing us to stay close to Dallas so we can easily return to the hospital for the last of my appointments.  You guys were great!


It's all starting to flow now!

I'm truly at the amazing things that have come my way - I mean in spite of the obvious black spot called cancer on my record.

The You Caring site is steadily growing has become a huge help with doctor copays and the gallons of gas needed to get back and forth.  And knowing my visits are increasing in frequency and have to find some what to pay 50% of a double mastectomy, I try to stay positive and hope to figure out a way.

I knew I've always like Classic Toyota, where I got my Prius at.  I loved the people I dealt with and have always recommended them to people I know.  I won't go into details, but they were a big lifesaver for me and helping out when I car had hit some big snags.  Thanks to them and a mysterious helper, My care was inspected and road ready within no time.  I cannot praise them enough or offer enough thanks for their help.

Thank you every one that has offered your help to me - whether it was money, physical donations or just offering to do something for me.  I'm truly grateful and I hope I can find a way to thank each of you personally.

Sometimes I'm so focused on recovering from surgery day that I often forget the need to recover from the day after surgery.  Ugh

I woke up early the day after my mediport surgery, the first thing I noticed was the small fever - the one thing you don't want after any kind of surgery.  Although it was low-grade, it still freaked me out all day.  I had to stay home from work, which made me feel worse.  Later that night I developed horrible leg pain and I had a serious freak out over embolisms and DVTs.  I called three people to ask their opinion before I finally realized it was knee/shin bone pain, not muscle or vein pain.  The final candle on the cake was the big, red, hot rash I developed from an allergic reaction to the OR soap/cleanser they use.  I spent the next two days scratching myself to death.

I had absolutely no energy.  I literally sat in my fat zebra armchair all day, watching Netflix, drinking fluids and either crocheted or dozed off.  I admit I was useless - the whole day.



I feel like I've been branded.  Or like I have some sort of tracking device now....

Today my port was put in.  I feel like I've been branded or something.

It started off by getting up ay 4am to ensure I arrive at MCD hospital by 8am.  NPO for 9 hours began to make me feel nauseous and have severe dry mouth by the time we arrived.  Once in waiting for surgery, the doctors said my blood sugar, pulse and blood pressure were too high.  I understand why my BS was high, but my high pulse is normal (according to my cardiologist) and my BP has never been as high as it was today.  I wish they would have considered how nervous/anxious I was and know that in all of my clinical records, by BP has never looked like this.

The fun part was that while I was waiting, a case manager came to talk to me and say hello.  She gave me a 'chemo bag', which was a Thirty-One bag with all kinds of neat stuff in it, like a throw blanket, hard candies, activity books and of course education materials about breast cancer.  She was so nice and the bag is really cool!

Once out of surgery and past recovery, I went to Dr S. office for my 'chemo training'.  Basically it's a session explaining all four of the drugs I'll receive and what to expect.  Also talked about some dos and don'ts while on chemo.  Including no more eating from buffets or salad bars!  Noooooo!

My last stop for the day was a quick ECG to see how my heart is doing now.  Luckily it didn't take long, so we were finally back on the road to come home in no time.  Of course, I slept all the way home.

I'm home now and have few side effects.  Luckily I have an awesome nurse friend that lets me call and bug her with questions.  I hope I begin to feel better tomorrow, because today has made me feel like crap.

When it rains - it pours.

My day first started with a phone call from the surgery center that is supposed to put in my mediport the next day.  They begin to tell me that my insurance considers the hospital I'm getting all my treatments at as out-of-network, so it is only covering 50% of my care.  That includes the mediport surgery, visits to the oncologists, visits to the breast specialist, chemo treatments and of course my mastectomy.  Even after I called my insurance company and spoke to my case manager, they still told me that my hospital, MCD, is only covered for 50%.  Ugh
Luckily - if you can call it that - the clerk said I could put some money down and create a payment plan for the rest.  She also gave me some information  on hospital financial assistance.

Then I get a call from my husband.  When he took our car in for routine oil change, the garage found that we also have a cracked belt, busted water pump, coolant leak and a tire that won't pass inspection.  Repairs like that can cost up to $1000!  I hung up with him and just cried.

But a few hours later, I was told that my car repairs would be taken care of not only by the general staff of the garage, but by some secret donor that would pay the rest.  I'm eternally grateful for the staff at the garage for their help and to the benefactor that took care of the costs that I would never be able to afford.

At first I was upset by the whole thing because I hate feeling like a charity case or that I owe someone in return.  But a lady at work told me "Never rob someone the chance to be a blessing".  I had never thought of it that way and I thought about what she said all night.  I hope it helps me see a whole new side to everyone's generosity.

On Monday, I cut my hair in anticipation of it falling out during chemo.  I could of held onto it longer.  I could have waited to get it cut, but something told me that would just keep me in further denial.  I don't think I could have handled having large, shoulder-length clumps of hair falling out in the shower or left on my pillow. So, it had to go.

So I went to one of my favorite hairdressers and she was very helpful in finding a short cut that could fit my fat face - oh I'm sorry, my 'round' face.

Everyone has been very supportive and tells me how cute/great/pretty it looks, but that doesn't make me less upset about it.  I can't believe I'm shallow enough to cry about losing hair.  It's just hair and it will grow back - or so everyone keeps telling me.

It's a little more real now. *Sigh*
                                                                 Before

                                                                           After

Finally - I think I have the last piece of my puzzle.

Today I met with my new oncologist, Dr. S., who spent several hours talking to me about my history, what chemo I'll be taking, my chemo schedule, and what we will do later down the road.  He made me feel so comfortable and reminded me so much of my pediatric oncologist that I felt like I never really left the hospital the first time.

So he explained to me that I'll need 4 different kind of drugs, 2 of them antibody medications that target the HER-2 factor of the cancer, as well as 2 different types of chemo.  I'll receive all 4 of these drugs in one session for 6 different sessions.  I'll have my treatments on one day, but will have to return to the office the very next day for an immuno-booster shot.  So I'll be doing a lot of driving back and forth, since all of my treatments and shots will have to be done in the Dallas office.

He told me I'll have all the typical symptoms of chemo, like nausea, vomiting, skin problems and problems with my appetite and taste (Not the taste!  ha ha).  Of course, I'll most likely lose my hair again, so any tips for scalp care would be helpful.

After these 6 sessions are done, then I'll have the double mastectomy.  After my mastectomy, I continue one of the antibody medicines for another 6 months.  Only after the last dose of this antibody medicine will be be 'through' and will hopefully put this behind me.

I will have my mediport put in on the 25th and will start the chemo the following Monday.  Next I'll need to get my Leave paperwork in order and ensure I can keep my paychecks coming in.  I'll have to determine how much time off I can use and how I can use them to my advantage.

I guess that means no more denying or second-guessing - this sh*t just got real.

I love it when people are able to get something back when they donate to a good cause.  I know the point is to give selflessly, but it's an inner need to be acknowledged for doing something good.

So as one of our many fundraisers my family has established for me, we've made a campaign on TeeSpring and are selling shirts.  Check it out here http://teespring.com/help-stina-knock-out-cancer-ag

For every shirt sold, around $4 goes directly to me.  The company factors in their own labor and processing costs.  The campaign only lasts for 25 days, so you have until April 7th to make a purchase.

Please check out the website and the shirt we are offering (I designed the boxing gloves myself!) and if you cannot buy a shirt, then please spread the word and ask your friends if they do.

Also for any direct donations, visit out YouCaring site at https://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/help-stina-kick-cancer-s-butt-again-/316765 for other ways to donate and help out.


Thank you!

"This ain't my first rodeo - but it sure is a whole new arena."

I like that phrase.  I think I'll adopt it to me ^.^

Update:
I'm scheduled on Monday to see my new oncologist in Dallas, who has come highly recommended and has a background in oncology.hematology as well as stem cell transplants - so he's perfect for me!  I've rescheduled my mediport surgery, hoping the oncologist will allow me to get a pic-line instead, since I think that will work better for me.

Other than that it's just a waiting game.  Wait for the next appointment.  Waiting for the next bill.  Waiting for the next move. Ugh

Yesterday I actually muttered the phrase - "I'm too poor to have cancer."

I work full time, have a free-lance job on the side and I go to school full time, which I was hoping to graduate this semester.  Those plans will have to wait.

It's depressing to know you can have medical insurance and still not be able to pay for the numerous doctor visits, prescriptions, road trips and the upcoming surgeries and infusions.  I know I cannot be refused service, but I worry about accumulating so much debt with the doctors that they'll delay treatment, or refer me to someone else.  Ugh!

I just signed a new lease on my place, only to be diagnosed a few weeks later.  Have I bitten off more than I can chew?  Was I too hopeful?  I knew I shouldn't have planned to get my hair done.  It's hard to stay positive when you know that so much is expected from you, and you just don't have it.

So on a lighter note - everyone knows I'm a crafty person.  So if you need blankets, scarves or hats, I make them and sell them.  Also, Jeremy is great with computers and he's willing to help.  Call or message us anytime :-)

Today I visited my breast doctor, Dr. L., again to know my fate.  Today was my official consult where she would confirm my diagnosis and tell me what she's going to do with me.

Once I arrived in Dallas, I had to do an EKG and some lab work first.  Back at the doctor's office, she did a quick exam and then brought my family into her office.  Here Dr L. begins to give me details about my new cancer, such as the staging, cell make up, tumor size and the different methods used to treat it.

Like most cases of breast cancer, she told me I will need to start with chemotherapy.  She listed a number of drugs typically used, all through a mediport of course.  She couldn't tell me what regimens or schedule I will be on - this will have to be done by my new oncologist, Dr. S.  But Dr. L. did add that since my tumor is growing and has multiple hosts sites, it is highly recommended to have a mastectomy after chemo is finished.  Actually, Dr. L. stressed the need for a double mastectomy, not only because my chances of having cancer in the left breast is increased by 40%, but she said it also increases the chance for better symmetry during reconstruction.  Before I left her office, she also did a genetic test, including the BRCA test, which I should have the results back in a few weeks.

I'm scheduled in 2 weeks to have my mediport implanted -  a sure sign that the ball is starting to roll.  My next step is to wait on the phone call from Dr. S. and determine when the rain of chemo starts.

It all started 17 years ago...

In 1998 I was diagnosed with leukemia.  I spent two years in treatment of chemotherapy, radiation and eventually a stem cell transplant.  I then spent the next 10 years 'recovering' and keeping up the maintenance - diagnosed with thyroid disease, early menopause, osteoporosis, cataracts and just recently diabetes.

Now, in February of 2015, I was diagnosed with stage 1 breast cancer. 
I found a lump during a routine exam.  After fighting with the doctor's office for several days, I finally got a referral for a sonogram and a mammogram.  I spent a whole day in testing before the doctor recommended a biopsy.'

At this point, I was scared and turned to the only people I knew would give me honest answers - my pediatric oncologists.  Once they read the reports and I told them what had been done, they immediately referred me to a breast specialist they knew.  I made an appointment with her for two days later.

Once at her office, she examined me and performed a biopsy - which we were sure was cancer.  Three days later, it was confirmed.  My official diagnosis was a stage 1 invasive ductal carcinoma.  But I would have to wait to find out how they were going to treat it.