Got an awesome phone call the other day!

So I got a call from my former oncologist, Dr. S., who moved up to Oregon back in April.  He called me from his personal cell and wanted to know all about how I was doing.  He's such a sweetie!

So he tells me that he wants to submit a case study to a medical journal that focuses on a female patient that develops breast cancer after undergoing chemo and radiation at a young age.  Hmmm who does that sound like???

He called to get my permission and get my address to send the consent forms to.  He's mailing the papers to me and once I sign an return them, he'll submit them for publication.  There's no guarantee it will be published, but it's still cool to think that my story could be in print - sort of - and it could help further medical technology.

I feel so special!

Being an odd ball is finally helping someone - instead of just being the weirdo that I am.

Well that was a wasted trip.

I went to Dallas today to follow up with my oncologist, Dr. C.  I know Dr. C. doesn't have to do a lot of the work anymore since I've finished treatment and am almost done with my surgeries, but something was lacking today.

Of course, Dr. S. spoiled me when it comes to doctor-patient relationship.  He was overly caring, personal with me, and never made me feel like an idiot when I asked stupid questions.  So when he left, I knew the 'new' doctor wouldn't be the same, but I expecting some of the same qualities.  But over the last few visits with Dr. C. I've never felt more disconnected from my doctor before.  With every visit, I feel more like an intruder in the office - like I don't belong there or that I have no reason to keep coming back.

During this visit, he didn't have my CT scan results that I'd had done a month ago, and didn't seem bothered by it.  He didn't say much, but just kind of laughed and didn't try to make small talk.  I brought up concerns on ongoing fatigue and feelings of 'blah', and he gave me diet and exercise advice.  Seriously??  He offered no extra input or asked me any additional questions.  By the end of the visit, he simply handed me my labs and told me to come back in December.  By the way, my labs were abnormal - which is probably why I felt so crappy.  I read the results myself - with no input from the doctor.

I left there feeling super emotional and with a gut feeling that I've wasted my time here.  That's the first time I ever felt like that in my hospital.  I was so upset that I stopped at the Taco Cabana and got a taco platter and ate it out on their patio.  I never eat alone - but I just wanted to be by myself for a minute and breathe.  I'm up in the air as to whether I want to return to Dr. C., or do I want to start looking elsewhere?  I've never left my hospital for care, but I don't know what other doors are open for me.