So last week was supposed to be my surgery day.  My final phase of reconstruction.  But it wasn't.  It didn't happen for me.  Again.

I had everything worked out.  I had all my prescriptions ordered.  I had my payment plan worked out.  I made sure Jeremy was home to drive me.  I had everything planned.  I was ready.  But three days before surgery my foot started hurting.  It was a tell-tale sign, but I ignored it.  The day before my surgery the pain had gotten so bad I went to my DR and did bloodwork.  Later that day the hospital in Dallas called to do my pre-registration.  When I mentioned the foot pain and my suspicions that the gout has flared up again, she told me we'd have to wait and see if they would proceed with the surgery.   teared up, but was sure something like gout was not going to stop me.

A few hours later Dr. A. called and sadly told me that they had cancelled my surgery.  The hospital did not feel comfortable operating on a diabetic with an active gout flare - it was deemed to risky.  He apologized over and over and told me he would reschedule with me right away.  I hung up with him and broke down crying right there in the break room.  The walls weren't soundproof, so I'm sure my coworkers heard me bawling.  I had to call my boss and tell her to cancel the time off I had scheduled and that I'd be at work the next day.  I spent the rest of the day and the weekend crying and pouting. 

It's a new week and I've started the gout medicine, so it'll be another week before everything clears up.  I won't reschedule my surgery until I'm sure the flare is gone.  For some reason God decided this was not the right time for me to have my surgery, although I have no idea why.  Yeah yeah I know I'm not supposed to know why - but I'm getting tired of having meltdowns and going insane.

I still gotta pick myself up by my bootstraps and get ready for the next surgery date.  Whenever that may be.

Yesterday was my pre-op appt!

Surgery is right around the corner!  Fingers and toes crossed nothing goes wrong this time!

I saw Dr. A. yesterday.  He was in a hurry and I think the clinic was busy, so we didn't get to talk long.  He explained again about switching out the expanders for the implants and what kind of incisions he'd be making.  I asked him about after care, but he said their wouldn't be too much needed since it was going to be a simple trade out.  I won't have any drains, clean any incisions or keep up with any bandages.  Whoo hoo!  I'm not sure what to expect or what to think - I just want this to be over.

At the end of the visit, I got my quote for my part of the surgery.  Minus the cost of the surgeon and anesthesiologist fees, I'll owe the hospital $1,400.  I know I'll need to work out a payment plan or something.  I can't let money get in the way of my new boobs again.


On a side note, at my visit today I made a drop of drain pouches to donate.  I only had about 20 pouches in all to donate, but it felt good to walk in with big bags to leave with them.  When I was checking in, a patient was coming out and had one of my drain pouches in her hand.  She said Dr. A. had given it to her for the drains she showed me she still had.  I talked a little about the pouches and then showed her the shower ones I crocheted.  She was so excited about them and dug through the bags at all the different colors and designs of the pouches.  She offered to pay me, but of course I told her she could just send me a thank you email - each pouch has a card with care instructions and my personal email.  She excitedly took 2 or 3 pouches with her and it made me feel so good to see how happy my little gesture can make someone like her.  Now I want to go home and make more.