I went to Dallas today to follow up with my oncologist, Dr. C. I know Dr. C. doesn't have to do a lot of the work anymore since I've finished treatment and am almost done with my surgeries, but something was lacking today.
Of course, Dr. S. spoiled me when it comes to doctor-patient relationship. He was overly caring, personal with me, and never made me feel like an idiot when I asked stupid questions. So when he left, I knew the 'new' doctor wouldn't be the same, but I expecting some of the same qualities. But over the last few visits with Dr. C. I've never felt more disconnected from my doctor before. With every visit, I feel more like an intruder in the office - like I don't belong there or that I have no reason to keep coming back.
During this visit, he didn't have my CT scan results that I'd had done a month ago, and didn't seem bothered by it. He didn't say much, but just kind of laughed and didn't try to make small talk. I brought up concerns on ongoing fatigue and feelings of 'blah', and he gave me diet and exercise advice. Seriously?? He offered no extra input or asked me any additional questions. By the end of the visit, he simply handed me my labs and told me to come back in December. By the way, my labs were abnormal - which is probably why I felt so crappy. I read the results myself - with no input from the doctor.
I left there feeling super emotional and with a gut feeling that I've wasted my time here. That's the first time I ever felt like that in my hospital. I was so upset that I stopped at the Taco Cabana and got a taco platter and ate it out on their patio. I never eat alone - but I just wanted to be by myself for a minute and breathe. I'm up in the air as to whether I want to return to Dr. C., or do I want to start looking elsewhere? I've never left my hospital for care, but I don't know what other doors are open for me.
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