Well, I should back up and let you know that I have been without my hormone patch for almost two weeks now, so sometimes I don't even know what I'm feeling - but it all just comes out.
The day started when I work up late and almost didn't make it out the door in time for my appt in Dallas with Dr. A. Luckily Jeremy was driving so we made it in time. But when I arrived, I noticed he was running behind, which doesn't bother me since I was so excited about having my wounds checked and getting my expanders pumped. As it got closer to lunch time, Dr. A. came in and checked both my wounds. He said the one on the right is completely healed from necrosis, so now I just have to baby the skin with Neosporin until it closes back up. He was also very happy with how the right one is progressing and I even heard him say Wow. ha ha
But he wasn't in the room with me for very long and he said - again - this week that he didn't want to pump the expanders and told me to come back in 2 weeks. He says he'll do it then. I know he wants the skin to heal and I know he will not jump into anything until he knows my scars/wounds are ready, but OMG I had all this excitement about pumping today and it was like letting all the air out of my balloon. Is that a pun here? Anyways. I've noticed the last two visits I've made in the morning he seems to be rushed and in a hurry in the office, so next time I made my appt in the afternoon. He's not getting away so easily next time...
Yes I know it doesn't seem like a big deal. So what he was in a hurry with other patients. So what he didn't pump you up this time. So what if he didn't comment on my glorious new hair growing in - just kidding. As I've said in one of my other posts, whenever we do something new, like changing a bandage regimen or pumping the expanders, it feels like progress. It feel like healing. It feels like moving forward. But for the past few weeks I haven't got to do any of this. I'm stuck in the same old bandage check - which consists of 5 minutes - and I'm not going anywhere. Then it makes me question what am I doing wrong that I'm not in a place for 'advancement'. What am I doing wrong that I'm not healing fast enough to be able to do anything else? Ugh
I really wanted to find some Blue Bell ice cream in Dallas today, but I only remembered it when we were halfway home. Jeremy took me to look at the Christmas stuff at Wal-Mart and I picked up some craft stuff for my wreaths. It helped a little, but I still felt like I could just go home and crawl into bed until further notice. I don't want to adult any time soon.
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