On Tuesday I had two appointments in Dallas - one with Dr. A. and one with Dr. C.
Jeremy was home for an overnight stay, so he drove me. Yay My first appointment was with Dr. A. and when I arrived I could tell it was a busy day. Miss C. told me he had a last minute surgery to get to, so I thought about rescheduling, but he was able to fit me in before he had to go - makes me feel special :-) So far he seems happy with the turnout and asked if I had any problems during the healing process. The only problem I had was getting the last of the dis-solvable stitches to finally come out, but since they were still hanging on Dr. A. just had PA pull them out while I was there. We scheduled my next - and final - surgery for August, so the end is definitely approaching! I'm excited to have my final boobs and recognize this is the end of this chapter of my life, but as I've said before, it's kind of bittersweet. I always fear that when I close a chapter, that I close out the people there. I've made such great friends through all of this mess, I don't want that to go away just because I don't have cancer anymore.
My last appointment of the day was with Dr. C. He told me the chest CT I had in April came back clear and shows no signs of cancer regrowth. Yay! He also explained that with my type of breast cancer, if it's going to come back, it will most likely happen within the next 3-5 years, so he has made a plan to see me every 3-4 months for follow ups and will have various scans done 2-3 times a year. He's ready to stand guard over me, so I'm glad he's already got a game plan going. Dr. C. also said that the HER2 positive factor of my breast cancer is a type that can - in rare instances - spread to the brain the first time it metastasizes. He told me to look out for signs such as recurring headaches, 'odd' behavior changes, or any general feeling of illness that isn't like me. Yikes. I told him I hope he wasn't going off my moods or emotions, because those seem to fly off the handle or fall apart at the drop of a hat and it's be hard to determine if it was cancer or me just being crazy. I also told him to ignore any crazy phone calls I might make to his office where I get something like a leg cramp and I freak out that it's the cancer coming back. I know I'll be paranoid for the next few years, so I'm trying to find the balance between bat-crap-crazy and blowing everything off.
I talked with Dr. C. about the possibility of remission and what kind of options we would look at. He explained about the hundred of different regimens and the factors they would look at to decide what to do and so on. I had a talk with Dr. S. about this, and I told Dr. C. that I still stand firm on doing whatever is possible to fight again if the cancer comes back. I don't ever want to be told that there's nothing they can do and I don't want to be told to just go home and 'enjoy my time' or wait for the end. I don't care if the regimen/medicine is experimental, harmful or simply just shitty, I want to do it. I don't want to be given up on and I don't want him to tell me that's all there is. He reassured me there were plenty of options available and that they had no intention of quitting on me.
On a happier note, one of my favorite oncology nurses, who was Dr. S.'s nurse and is not Dr. C.'s nurse, is pregnant! Can't believe I didn't notice the last time I was there. She told me the general colors of her nursery, so I'll have to whip something up before i go back in August.
I left the hospital that day feeling accomplished knowing one surgery was done (and I came out smelling like an iodine stained rose) and that my doctor had a plan to watch over me and showed no sign of giving up any time soon. It feels weird not having to go back any time soon, but I know it'll be time to strut through the halls again soon enough.
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| I can do this! I'm pretty sure.... |
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